The Debate
by the sceptical muppet
Summary: "Oh, God! Close it down!". When Spike and Angel find a computer open to a fanfiction site, a heated argument over whether 'Spuffy' trumps 'Bangel' ensues. Until they find certain... OTHER pairings. Ones they're not quite so comfortable with...


Spike's eyes flickered across the screen, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

When Angel walked in, the younger vampire glanced up, sniggered, and looked back at the screen.

Angel normally considered himself above taking Spike's bait, but there was something particularly infuriating about his smug grin and mischievous sideways glances today.

So he took it.

"What?"

"Oh, nothin'." Spike's tone made it quite clear that it was not 'nothin'.

Angel narrowed his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Nothin'."

The other vampire ran a hand over his bleached hair, pressing his lips together in a poorly disguised grin as he stared at the screen, his shoulders shaking a little with suppressed laughter.

"Show me, Spike."

"No, really. It's nothin' you'd be interested in."

"Show me."

Angel strode across the room, and leant over Spike's shoulder. After a few seconds of staring blankly at the glowing computer screen, he spoke.

"What is it?"

"Fanfiction."

"Fan-what? Spike, what are you doing wasting your time on pointless stuff like this? You know we've got a heap of cases we're supposed to be working on."

"It's not _mine ,_you ponce, it was already open. See here, look at this; _Bangel_." Spike snorted, shaking his head.

"Bangel?"

"Buffy and Angel. Bangel. It sounds like a disease."

"No, it doesn't." Angel said immediately, defensive of his newly-found shared name.

"It does, too."

Angel skimmed the writing on the screen, then raised an eyebrow.

"It's better than Spuffy."

Spike's smirk disappeared and he stiffened in his chair.

"What's wrong with Spuffy?" he demanded.

"Well, it sounds like something you'd call one of those tiny dogs."

"Does not."

"Yeah. _Spuffy_. C'mere Spuffy. Good doggy!" Angel cooed at an imaginary pet.

"Shut up."

"What, you're gonna sit here sniggering at Bangel, but you get all defensive the second I bring up Spuffy?"

"There's nothin' wrong with Spuffy," Spike retorted hotly.

"Oh, no, you're right. Because the alternative is _Bike. Bike._"

"Yeah, well- people like Spuffy better than Bangel!" The younger vampire couldn't stop himself from blurting this tidbit suddenly.

"They do not. How could you possibly even know that?"

"It says."

"Where?"

"Right here."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does. Right next to..." Spike trailed off as they both stared at the screen, and his expression turned to one of horror.

"Spander," Angel choked, looking at the vampire in the chair, who seemed frozen. "As in..._Xander?_"

It was Angel's turn to half-heartedly suppress a grin at his companion's misfortune, but one look at the younger vampire's face set him off laughing.

"I feel quite ill," Spike said faintly, and Angel could have sworn that his bloodless skin had paled.

"_Spander_." Angel managed, as he struggled to regain composure, and reached for the mouse. "Let's read it."

"Angelus, don't you dare click that link!" Spike shouted, coming to life and trying to wrestle the mouse out of his grand-sire's grip.

There was a clatter as Spike fell out of the office chair, taking Angel to the ground with him in a desperate attempt to avoid any further exploration of the world of Spander. To somebody walking into the room, all that would have been visible of the scuffle was the occasional flash of platinum hair or a leather sleeve above the desk, accompanied by the odd thud, 'bollocks' or 'gerrof'.

A few seconds later and Angel was sitting at the desk, his hand on the mouse, wearing a triumphant grin on his face as Spike sullenly got to his feet, bleached hair rumpled.

"Want me to read it to you?"

"Bugger off," was the only reply.

"Okay, let's see-" Angel's gaze fell on something new.

Something entirely different.

Something so terrifying, so shocking that he would never have though this world capable of producing it, even in the form of this..._fan fiction._

Spike peered over his shoulder, curious to see what had caused Angel's abrupt pause, and his eyes widened.

The word that had caught both their attention was small, seemingly insignificant and made up of only seven letters, but it was enough to appall two of the most deplorable vampires ever to walk the Earth.

_Spangel._

"Close it down," Spike said in a strangled voice, and Angel seemed to snap out of his horrified daze. "Close it down, close it down, close it down! Get rid of it!"

Panicking, Angel fumbled for the mouse, trying to guide it to the little 'x' in the corner of the window and accidentally hitting the left clicker. It opened the story.

"Argh!"

"What did you do?" Spike yelped, "Are you mad? Turn it _off_!"

"It's not my fault! I'm trying!"

"Oh, God! Make it go away!"

Angel started punching the 'esc' button as hard as he could, trying to ignore the words on the screen that he really, _really _didn't associate with Spike.

"It isn't working! Where's the plug?"

Spike dove under the desk and wrenched the power cord out of the socket as hard as he could, Angel still desperately hammering on the 'esc' key.

When the screen dissolved into blackness, they both relaxed slightly, giving one another a relieved grin. Then Spike seemed to realize who he was looking at and he shuddered, throwing the power cord on the floor.

"Eugh."Angel shook his head rapidly, as though he could send the offensive words flying out of his brain.

"What say we _never _mention this again? _Ever_." Spike suggested, still looking faintly sick.

"Yeah," the older vampire managed mutter after a minute or two of stunned silence. "Yeah, I think that's... that's a good idea."

Spike shuddered again and headed for the door.

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O

Fred frowned and hit the 'esc' button: nothing.

And again: nothing.

"Do you guys know what happened to the escape button?" she called out. "I think it's jammed."

* * *

**A/N:** I mean no offence to any fans of Spander or Spangel. I have no issue whatsoever with the pairings, but once I had a vision of the boys desperately trying to close the site, I couldn't help but write it. Reviw for a virtual high five; you've come all this way already!


End file.
